


First time

by jadziajan



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadziajan/pseuds/jadziajan
Summary: Junko Enoshima experiences despair for the first time.
Kudos: 11





	First time

Midnight.  
  
Nothing happened today either.  
  
Junko finally shuts her computer off. After analysing a few popular outfits to figure out the best way to wow her classmates the next day, she wound up watching old, random videos of idol concerts she didn’t care about for two hours straight. Now those are in her mind… And yet it feels like she did nothing again.  
  
Nothing ever surprises her. She wakes up every morning to go to school – she’s been early, she’s been late, she’s been exactly on time, nothing she could do about it could possibly be new anymore. Every school year is the exact same, every classroom contains the same types of students… But she has nothing better to do but to go. What else is there after all? With her sister gone, she doesn’t even have anyone to complain to.  
  
She changes to her favourite pyjamas… No, who is she kidding? She made up that these are her favourites just to create something to talk about. Whether these are colourful, comfortable to the touch, suit her body, or don’t, doesn’t matter, if it even makes sense at all. How something feels, or how it looks… What does it change on its own? All that matters is the way her pyjamas are perceived by others, how they react to them, what they say about them… And even that is only the tiniest of impacts.  
  
The tiniest amount of novelty… One of these days, Junko should change her appearance and behaviour entirely. Perhaps she could try changing the way she styles her hair everyday… Ah, no, that has already been done.  
  
The next step would be to cut it, and she’d have done nothing new.  
  
Even what she’s doing just now is predictable. How many students are there, on this lone planet, who stay up late just to get the impression that they did something of their own choice every night? Boredom isn’t special to her… It is part of human nature, and terribly predictable, in a way that itself is boring to no end. Tomorrow morning she will be tired, because that makes the most sense… And if she turned out to be well-rested, she wouldn’t care, because even that has happened before.  
  
Those thoughts she’s also had before, and all she can do is go to sleep and let time pass. She gets into bed and sighs… And sighs again. Every night when she goes to sleep, she sighs… So predictable, nothing is ever new. She reaches for the light switch of her bedside lamp and when she presses it…  
  
_Snap._  
  
How could Junko Enoshima make such a basic mistake?  
  
It breaks.  
  
Days upon days… Months upon months of hard work…  
  
Did she place her finger weirdly?  
  
It’s broken.  
  
She doesn’t have to look to know – it even hurts.  
  
The nail on her index finger broke.  
  
How does it look? She has to know. Junko presses the switch again, her heart beating rapidly—  
  
Really?  
  
The length of her nail almost completely snapped… All of it because of a simple false movement, in a matter of milliseconds. Her long nail, the impressive part of her hand that took her months and months to grow out…  
  
Gone.  
  
She pushes the hanging half of the nail lightly… The break is much too low, ripping it off would be painful. Her nail is going to look disgusting.  
  
Just like that.  
  
She breathes heavily. Her beautiful, crazy-long nails… She’d been pretending were her pride and joy for a long time. Regularly at night, she would paint them in a way she wanted no one to be able to predict. And by accident…  
  
She ruined it.  
  
How had this never happened? Junko starts to laugh…  
  
Yes, it is truly painful. Her hard work ruined – something she didn’t want happening to her. Something she didn’t expect… With such a long-term effect.  
  
Is that the sorrow of disappointment? Is that the ache of loss? Over such a small thing…  
  
That something so minuscule could give her these feelings, she did not know.  
  
And that these feelings were absent from her daily life…  
  
She had not realised.  
  
Ripping off her broken nail, Junko laughs even louder. Thanks to all this pain, she is able to feel the glee of novelty… How crooked. The essence of a broken nail, to a future Ultimate Fashionista… is the essence of despair.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a real-life experience from the author.


End file.
